Where The Lines Overlap

I have gotten a few emails saying I am clueless and narrowminded because I am being sexist about only guys spanking girls.

I did not mean to give that impression. It's just when I write, I write what I feel, think experience. In my relationship, I am the one that gets spanked.

It is the only way I would have it. I can't think to always type him or her, he or she , etc everytime I talk about something. I can imagine that things are similar sometimes for guys that get spanked, I just don't have that experience. And of course there are girls that do the spanking as well, but since I am not one, I can't speak for them either.

I also know that there are many that use spanking as punishment as well. And that is kind of what I wanted to touch on after a response to the previous post rather than talk about my boyfriend's birthday (which I will, promise). It was:

" Although the thought of being dominated is very arousing to me, I've never really enjoyed spanking. I suppose in a way I think about the times my parents would discipline me that way so I would get EXTREMELY uncomfortable with the idea of a partner employing the same act. So I wonder if you have any such disconcerting pasts with some type of sexual play? Your posts have been very amusing, but I still can't warm up to the idea of being spanked. I know my loved one wants to do more than just fondle my ass, but for now he'll have to bear the vicious threats of clawing his veins "

I have a feeling that I am in the minority of women that while I enjoy domination sexually, I also don't have anything to do with punishment for punishments sake. What I mean is that spanking and other forms of light BDSM play is just that, play.. all in fun, unless there is maybe the occasional role play going on where the punishment/discipline is part of the game/scene.

What I am trying to do is say to the woman that posted the above response, is that you don't have to make it about punishment. Although I was never spanked at home or school, I can understand how you could be uncomfortable with a partner spanking you in punishment would make you uncomfortable as it was how your parents punished you.

However, spanking with a partner, especially a sexual partner, can be COMPLETELY different, and especially since you say you already know and find being dominated is very arousing.

Have you and your partner put aside the idea of punishment for the time being. Just make it an act of submission. A part of sexual domination. Let it not be for any reason, nothing you have done wrong, but rather that you are sure he wants to do it and so you can see just how great it can be. And I promise you it WILL be if you keep your mind away from it being a punishment and your partner makes sure not to refer to it in any way as such while spanking you.

I am telling you there is nothing so arousing as being over your man's lap (again speaking from my point of view and experience). There is so much other than the spanking itself that all makes up the experience. It is being in his control, knowing you are trusting him, knowing this is what he wants to do, that he is dominating, in charge, macho, his hard body so contrasting with your softer one. The feel of his muscular thighs beneath you. And the feel of his hard cock pushing against you. And I promise it will be very hard. I am betting that there are few guys that would not be.

Then there is the spanking. The feel of heat and sting coursing thru your body as you squirm against him, so wanting more until a point where you are almost beg for him to stop and desperately hope he does not. At this point, is when if I am going to have an orgasm (which has happened many times) it is almost mind numbing. If not, I will be going nuts for one. I will be so hot, wet, and probably begging him to stop and fuck me already.

And then it happens. Some of the best sex of your life, I promise. Sex after spanking is nuclear. You will kick yourself for not having done this sooner.

That is what I urge you the writer of that response (and anyone else) to try. Forget the punishment mindset for now, and try it!

For those girls out there that spanking is part of sexual domination play and not just punishment, have you found it to be like I say?

For you guys that like being spanked as part of sexual domination play, I did not meant to exclude you, I just don't know if you have the same reactions. Do you? If not what is it like for you?

Those of you that do the spanking, do you feel the same way?