Thursday, 18 July 2013

Where The Lines Overlap

I have gotten a few emails saying I am clueless and narrowminded because I am being sexist about only guys spanking girls.

I did not mean to give that impression. It's just when I write, I write what I feel, think experience. In my relationship, I am the one that gets spanked.

It is the only way I would have it. I can't think to always type him or her, he or she , etc everytime I talk about something. I can imagine that things are similar sometimes for guys that get spanked, I just don't have that experience. And of course there are girls that do the spanking as well, but since I am not one, I can't speak for them either.

I also know that there are many that use spanking as punishment as well. And that is kind of what I wanted to touch on after a response to the previous post rather than talk about my boyfriend's birthday (which I will, promise). It was:

" Although the thought of being dominated is very arousing to me, I've never really enjoyed spanking. I suppose in a way I think about the times my parents would discipline me that way so I would get EXTREMELY uncomfortable with the idea of a partner employing the same act. So I wonder if you have any such disconcerting pasts with some type of sexual play? Your posts have been very amusing, but I still can't warm up to the idea of being spanked. I know my loved one wants to do more than just fondle my ass, but for now he'll have to bear the vicious threats of clawing his veins "

I have a feeling that I am in the minority of women that while I enjoy domination sexually, I also don't have anything to do with punishment for punishments sake. What I mean is that spanking and other forms of light BDSM play is just that, play.. all in fun, unless there is maybe the occasional role play going on where the punishment/discipline is part of the game/scene.

What I am trying to do is say to the woman that posted the above response, is that you don't have to make it about punishment. Although I was never spanked at home or school, I can understand how you could be uncomfortable with a partner spanking you in punishment would make you uncomfortable as it was how your parents punished you.

However, spanking with a partner, especially a sexual partner, can be COMPLETELY different, and especially since you say you already know and find being dominated is very arousing.

Have you and your partner put aside the idea of punishment for the time being. Just make it an act of submission. A part of sexual domination. Let it not be for any reason, nothing you have done wrong, but rather that you are sure he wants to do it and so you can see just how great it can be. And I promise you it WILL be if you keep your mind away from it being a punishment and your partner makes sure not to refer to it in any way as such while spanking you.

I am telling you there is nothing so arousing as being over your man's lap (again speaking from my point of view and experience). There is so much other than the spanking itself that all makes up the experience. It is being in his control, knowing you are trusting him, knowing this is what he wants to do, that he is dominating, in charge, macho, his hard body so contrasting with your softer one. The feel of his muscular thighs beneath you. And the feel of his hard cock pushing against you. And I promise it will be very hard. I am betting that there are few guys that would not be.

Then there is the spanking. The feel of heat and sting coursing thru your body as you squirm against him, so wanting more until a point where you are almost beg for him to stop and desperately hope he does not. At this point, is when if I am going to have an orgasm (which has happened many times) it is almost mind numbing. If not, I will be going nuts for one. I will be so hot, wet, and probably begging him to stop and fuck me already.

And then it happens. Some of the best sex of your life, I promise. Sex after spanking is nuclear. You will kick yourself for not having done this sooner.

That is what I urge you the writer of that response (and anyone else) to try. Forget the punishment mindset for now, and try it!

For those girls out there that spanking is part of sexual domination play and not just punishment, have you found it to be like I say?

For you guys that like being spanked as part of sexual domination play, I did not meant to exclude you, I just don't know if you have the same reactions. Do you? If not what is it like for you?

Those of you that do the spanking, do you feel the same way?

10 comments:

  1. I've followed your blog for several months now, finally I have a comment I'd like to publish. I'm a guy. Just need to make that distinction. My wife and I engage in the play of spanking and even some light bondage. It is never about "punishment", it is sexual play, and my wife gets extremely aroused when I take her over my knee, or bend her over the "spanking bench" and spank her. There is no pain involve, maybe stings a little, but it isn't about that for us, it's about submission for her, and her big, strong man having control. Mention the word "punishment" and my wife would have a hard time, it isn't about punishment, it's about this role she likes to be in of her man being in control and her being submissive. Which, by the way, she loves being submissive. For both of us, in these roles, we get extremely aroused and the sex is out of this world for us. In fact, to initiate a sexual session she will usually try to tickle me. Then she says "uh oh" with a little smile, she knows what's coming. I pin her down, bare her bottom, and being spanking her. Her squeals turn into moans and then, well, I'm sure you can figure out what happens after that! So from this guy's point of view you are spot on. Reading your last post lines up perfectly with how my wife feels as well. Yes, I'm sure some spank for punishment, but that is not our game, different strokes for different folks. We will continue our games because for me there is nothing more arousing that having my wife over my lap, her panties around her knees and my hand on her bottom. That's my two cents!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for sharing this hot intimate description of how spanking works for you 2. It really is an awesome experience.

      I do hope you will find reason to keep responding.

      amber

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    2. Amber: You say you are being sexist about only guys spanking women. I would concur that you are. However, my dear, I have something for you to consider. We as a species are engineered to reproduce. Human reproduction happens only one way. The man is generally the aggressor and the woman submits. In other words men tend to be dominant toward women and women tend to submit to a mans in-bred dominance. My point to you is, yes you are being sexist and it is completely normal. Without that sexism the human species would not reproduce. It is in our nature.

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  2. Goodness this post had me blushing! But I'm a hoar for graphic details <3
    I suppose I could try it out once, but only after my partner researches absolutely everything (as I've been doing) just so it wont be a unpleasant painful experience.

    Also, I'm sorry to have imposed my thoughts on you >.< I hope you very much enjoyed yourself on your boyfriend's birthday. I wonder how it went :P

    I don't think I could ever spank my loved one; I'm too shy, and he is quite bigger than me! That'll be somethin' to talk about though :O

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    Replies
    1. Oh, hun, don't be sorry for being in my thoughts. All of you are at times and your situation touched me.

      Also, I do hope your research concludes soon so you guys can get to trying it. I just know you will love it.

      Oh, also, please feel free to sign a name, any that you like will do :)

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  3. This is so very complex Amber. As you know I'm a mature lady but I do get spanked as a form of discipline. That doesn't stop it from being a 'turn on' as well...in fact for me the thought that the spanking I'm getting...or just got...or am going to get...is a punishment makes it even more exquisite! I don't think that any of our responses or choices are either right or wrong...they are just our own individual preferences. As for the unpleasant e-mails you mentioned at the top of your post...just ignore them Amber.

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    Replies
    1. Janice, It is interesting that that degree of arousal is still evident when the spanking is for punishment. I have wondered if that is not the case.

      You are right that everyone has different responses. I was explaining that since she equated punishment from her partner to punishment with her parents, that she should try spanking without any punishment aspect, at least at first.

      And, I don't mind the emails, I did say I wanted all criticism, was just explaining why I write as to that I do. :)

      amber xxx

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  4. "Amber: You say you are being sexist about only guys spanking women. I would concur that you are. However, my dear, I have something for you to consider. We as a species are engineered to reproduce. Human reproduction happens only one way. The man is generally the aggressor and the woman submits. In other words men tend to be dominant toward women and women tend to submit to a mans in-bred dominance. My point to you is, yes you are being sexist and it is completely normal. Without that sexism the human species would not reproduce. It is in our nature."

    Thank you for this response. I can imagine it is not a very popular position with female friends. I have thought about it and that consideration became the topic of my next post. Again thank you for responding, and please continue to do so.

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