Monday, 5 March 2012

Pain, pleasure, and ritual.

This is sort of connected with my recent posting, “The thrill of it”, where I touched on question of why, against all common sense, some girls enjoy being spanked.

I’ll start with an anecdote that might seem way off subject but which does fact help lead me to where I am going. A Scotsman was asked why his countrymen regularly drink beer followed by a whisky chaser. He famously replied that when you drink only whisky you get drunk before you’re full, and when you drink only beer you get full before you’re drunk, but if you drink the two together you get drunk and full at the same time.

What on earth has this to do with the erotic attractions of being thrown across your lovers knee and soundly spanked? Easy, and I will get to it, but I need to tell you something first! The thing is, and sorry to disappoint a number of you out there, but I get no pleasure at all from being caned.

What I’m leading to is that for me, the excitement of being given a spanking is strongly connected with the associated ritual, those wonderful gusset moistening moments when a rather gorgeous man sits you on his lap and announces that you really are a mischievous little brat,

but nothing that five minutes across his knee with your knickers humiliatingly pulled down won’t sort out.

It’s all to do with sex, of course it is, but along with the sheer pleasure he gets from seeing his little girl’s bare bottom so beautifully displayed, somewhere in his subconscious is a primitive desire too punish you, a desire than no matter how civilised he is he won’t be able to subdue totally. Once he has you pinned helplessly in position, it will be hard for him to resist the urge to make your bottom really sting.

Fine for him, but what about you? You know that in a moment he will be chastising you in that time honoured way designed for misbehaving schoolgirls but now used primarily for cock teasing secretaries,

Provocative maids (whatever happened to those?)

and of course his endlessly naughty girlfriend.

It’s going to hurt, and one of the many and complex reasons it turns us on is that element of danger that goes with it. Personally I’m so keyed up when first upended and exposed that the first stinging slap is really not too bad and nor are the next few, but as my punishment progresses the warmth in my bottom gradually heats up till it’s beginning to verge on raging fire.

When this is accompanied by honeyed words reminding me that it really should not be necessary for a big grown up girl like me to have to be spanked like this and that he hopes I’m learning my lesson, then two sorts of warmth are running in parallel so when I’m whimpering both my apologies along with my promises to make it up to him in ways we both know he will appreciate,

pain and excitement are all mixed up in a weird erotic cocktail in my churned insides. In a sense I’m drunk and full at the same time which is where this all started out.

But being caned is something else entirely.

Here the girl experiences the most intense and awful pain from the outset set to that the anaesthetic of building excitement has not had time to kick in and do its stuff.

Not all of you will agree with me, and I would be fascinated to hear from any of you females who like to feel the stinging cut of a cane across your bent over bottom to help me get some sort of insight in to what’s in it for you.


  1. L

    oh well,i intrude your instuctions were clear you ae seeking femal responses to your latest so it will be eally interesting to see what rolls in

    however in the meanwhile - shock, horror you, L, seemigly do not 'like' the cane

    now what sorts of experiences have you had

    there is a true art here and one has it right when the response is 'more, more, more'

    L you need to put yourself in the right hands

    a serious art as i say - i'm still reeling from the shock horror of this your latest revelation

    i shall go and lie down now


  2. L

    oh how i do dislike this latest code review access system

    probably not of your doing, part of the 'system' you have to work with - but someone is to blame and a slender, polished, rattan is called for . . .


  3. I am with Liz. As a man I get so much joy from the stinging smack of my hand against a delicious bare bottom. I think a cane would separate me from that direct joy.

  4. L

    i have just settled for a while with Sexuelle to indulge my senses and see what responses the last couple of Elizabian postings have produced

    nothing, really absolutely nothing - no female feedback, no imaginative fantasies or reflections and as for the latest posting the detail, the research, the imagiation - oh, we are not worthy, well perhaps i need not include myself in that sweeping generalisation

    L why not hang up your thong or whatever and let us wither - so disappointing

    enough to make a sub switch . . .


  5. L

    ah, i have just reread that posting hmm . actually i was thinking of you er, switching


  6. Thank you all for your interesting comments. And though it's true I had hoped for more, particularly from my female readership, no J, I have no intention of, as you put it hanging up my thong and retiring. Not for a little while anyway. For the forseeable future, you my modest but select band of followers will have to go on putting up with me.

    Thank you all for your continuing support. You are all too good to me, and I appreciate you more than you might realise.


  7. Oh... I really am a bad girl. I haven't been reading my favourite naughty sites as often as I might like and I had just plain missed this thought-provoking post.

    I'm sorry Liz :(

  8. As for my thoughts on the cane...

    I was only (belatedly) introduced to the cane late last year, when my lover and I took the plunge and bought one. It hasn't been used all that often, but the strange thing is, from the very first time I felt its sting, it felt kind of familiar. Maybe it's all the caning videos I've watched, I'm not sure, but it was like I knew just how it would feel.

    And that feeling is (to me) wonderful! It's so sharp, and old-fashioned, and "we're not messing around here, young lady" - and that's a REAL turn-on. It's hard to describe. (Or at least it is at 3.30am). The fact that the pacing of the strokes has by necessity to be relatively measured is also hot. It imbues the experience with a certain deliberateness; a certain kinky gravitas. And it's great for counting!

    Also I think the "separation" that Anon mentions above can actually be a good thing; it's the same when any implement is used. Spanking is just win-win!


  9. Dear Penelope,

    Sorry not to have replied till now, but I have had a few technical problems.

    Your comments have given me food for thought, and as a wordsmith, I like the way you have expressed them. I can see "A certain kinky gravitas" appearing in one of my posts!

    Anyway, so glad you continue to enjoy the blog and I will do my best to keep it moist and fresh for you


  10. Liz, sorry for posting this anonymously. I seem to be having trouble logging in.

    I have just come across your site and love it. I can't wait to read back thru it.

    Spanking for my boyfriend and I is entirely erotic. We don't do the punishment thing unless it's some sort of role play fun, but really that's not punishment in the sense of the word. Sure I get spanked for being "naughty" at times, lots of times, but, that too, really isn't punishment.

    Getting spanked is one of the most thrilling things we do. I can not remember a time that it has not resulted in nearly nuclear sex and I have had many an orgasm over his lap. And I don't mean from fingering or rubbing during, I mean from the sensations of the spanking alone especially if it has started out slow and "soft" and gradually increased speed and force.

    It is just such a sensuous act. There are so many things that come into play to make it so arousing for me. I feel his masculinity, his strength, power, desire so greatly while over his lap, held close to his hard strong body. Feeling his own need beneath me, it is getting me hot just thinking and describing it.

    Then there is the spanking itself. That immediate spark of pain that quickly turns to a heat that spreads thru the whole area that causes a delicious squirm and sting that has me yearning for more and more. It is like a circle of sensations that gradually intensifies as the spanking goes on.

    Then there reaches the point where I am so turned on that I feel like I could go on forever yet I'm desperate for it to end so that my near insane lust can be satisfied.

    The orgasms that I have during spanking only seems to fuel the need more, throwing oil on the fire of lust.

    This is why I love being spanked.

    Now the cane, wow that is a whole different thing and won't be as easy to explain. "Cold" forceful caning from the start, does nothing for me but pain. However, if I have had a good spanking before and the cane is gradually used with more force, it can be incredibly intense. It is like a flash fire of heat and sting that spreads so so fast. I have not had an orgasm from the cane but it builds a level of arousal so intense that I am hanging on the edge of a cliff that one time just a fingernail run from my nose to my clit sent me over.

    The sex after with his hands gripping my hypersensitive skin or it rubbing into the bedding is just so incredible. And the cane cane be felt for a couple days, sitting, in the shower, in tight clothes.. a constant reminder of the time we had that makes me so hot, wet and ready for more action as soon as we are home together again.

    That is why I love the cane.

    Hope, I have made sense, it wasn't very easy to express in words.

    Love your sexy site,


  11. Wow Amber! What can a girl say?

    I'm really grateful for this, and if it's OK with you I might even do a post based on your observations. I'm sure my readers would appreciate it.

    And of course, so glad you like the site. Do enjoy trawling back through it. Even I from time to time come across the odd erotic gem I'd posted way back and forgotten.

    And of course, do go on enjoying the times you seem to be spending across your boyfriend's knee. The two of you seem to be well suited


  12. You can use me any way you want anytime, liz ;)

    I have spent the last half hour in an erotic induced trance reading some of your hot and
    sexy photostories.

    Mike is due to get home any minute now. That I will be attacking him when he does so is a given. The only question is how far in the door will he get.

    Surely, such wantan behavior will warrant a good spanking, right?