Friday, 25 June 2010

The psychology of spanking

Spanking, the act of taking a miscreant across the knee, baring the bottom and repeatedly and rhythmically slapping it, (if you can think of a better definition, please send it to me) is fixed in all our collective minds as a punishment for children, especially girl children, notwithstanding that we don’t spank children these days and very few people under the age of about sixty will ever have been punished that way.

These days, it’s wives, girlfriends, and lovers who get spanked, and although the ostensible reason is because they’ve been asking for it, we all know it’s because for a man, taking a pretty young girl across his knee and telling her in quite unnecessary detail just how much she deserves the punishment that he’s about to visit on her bare bottom, makes him as horny as hell. Just to threaten a girl with a spanking, especially a girl with whom he is not (yet) in an intimate relationship will probably on its own be enough to give him an erection. It’s a fact that giving, thinking about, or watching a spanking is an erotic trigger for most men and a lot of women which immediately makes us ask why, and the answer goes way beyond the fact that it gives a man an excuse to pull a girl’s knickers down, although that does add to the pleasure of it.

The full answer could fill a book but I think a powerful element is what I have set out above, namely that spanking is fixed in our heads as a punishment for children and that when man spanks a woman he has reduced her to the status of a child, and having taken that degree of power over her it gives him a massive high. Not only that, the moral high ground he has taken on entitles him lower or even remove her panties and concentrate all his attentions on her naked bottom and her scarcely hidden sex, all the while making out that he has only done this because it was his duty to do so as a responsible adult.

For a grown woman being spanked is undignified, painful and demeaning, but in my case that’s exactly why it turns me on. For as long as it lasts I’m a naughty little girl again, and at some level I know this punishment is for my own good and that once I’ve learned my lesson everything will be made right again which of course will be a grown up treat of beautiful sex. And for me the other side of the coin is that when I decide that any female in my life has overstepped the mark and a spanking is called for, I get exactly the same arousal from exercising that power and authority as a man does when taking me over his knee.

I could write a great deal more, but I don’t wish to over analyse. Having said that, I would like to understand this better and I would be interested in any comments from anyone as to why for them giving or receiving a spanking is such a turn on.


  1. That's a good start Elizabeth. I'd like to encourage you to post more along this vein, as I think it's a fascinating subject to explore!

  2. Dear Elizabeth, I've only very recently discovered your blog and I really hope that you will continue writing! Your "key words" stockings, spanking, masturbation resonate with me. I feel that you and I have very similar erotic sensibilities. I think that you're an erotic "soul-mate", and I haven't found many of those among the bloggers listed by Chross! "Isabelle" of the blog "Autour de la fessee" is the only other one I have found so far, and to some extent Doonsday.

    I'm 27, bi and I both spank and get spanked regularly. It's mostly the latter right now. I always wear ff stockings for sex and for spanking. My mom, who spanked me regularly during my teens and colleg years, always insisted that a spaning should be seen as a somewhat serious occasion which hence demands a sort of formal attire, a skirt and blouse or a dress, stockings and heels. These days my spankings are part of the foreplay to sex, even if they are called "correctional". Some spankers insist on that fiction!

    I too love masturbation, and I often use it in order to replay in my mind a recent spanking and the sex that followed. It really is the thinking persons TV, as you say! Sometimes I think that the very best and most memorable orgasms I've had have came during masturbation.

    Keep writing and I shall read! Regards, Laurie

  3. Elizabeth, if I may make a suggestion. It would help encourage commenting if you would comment back to the commenters.

  4. To both Karl and Anonymous,

    Many apologies for not having replied before. The technicalities of setting up and running a blog are quite new to me and I've only just relized that I can reply.(You'll see I'm posting this as 'anonymous' as I don't know any other way to do it

    Firtly, thank you for your support and interest which I really appreciate. I'm very new to all this and it's good to know that people are actually reading my blog and taking seriously my approach to sex and all the mysterious things that make it so exciting for most of us.

    Whenever I can I will post articles setting out my thoughts on why certain things arouse us, but as I'm working on my third erotic novel I won't always have the time in which case I will try at least to post a few suitably arousing or thought provoking images.

    Thanks again


  5. My psychology is this about spanking the naughty female. Do it often, and with a cane. Yes, a bare bottom caning is perfection.