Wednesday, 3 November 2010

The eternal question

The eternal question; how do you punish a girl who enjoys being spanked?

Answers on a postcard please to Elizabeth Forster, C/O Sexuelle.


  1. Elizabeth, I think we're going to need more of an address than that before we "go postal" with our suggestions!

  2. L

    oh dear it's the old 'sadist/masochist conundrum - whip me, whip me - well er, No'

    i'm afraid spanking must be witheld

    oh, what have i suggested - gosh, will i be drummed out of your gang


  3. But you know I couldn't possibly give up my anonymity Mr Gauss. Clearly I wasn't thinking when I made that suggestion.

    And the concept of withholding a spanking; now that really would be cruel!


  4. I believe there is a kind of spanking that takes issue with bad behaviour, conveys a serious verbal message (what I call 'the disciplinary script'), but that is explicitly sexual as well, with pauses for genital carresses. I call these semi-serious spankings (I wrote a story about one called Semi-Seriously Yours, you may have seen. I'd be glad to send it you). But the intent is not punitive -- it is not about deterring bad behaviour. It is about reconciliation and reconnection -- purging guilt, assuring forgiveness, with the spanking serving as the gateway to passionate lovemaking.

    In this way, it is not contradictory at all that she wants it and will be aroused by it, for his motive is not to deter future misbehaviour but to reconcile emotionally and reconnect sexually.

  5. Whoever you are anonymous, thank you for your comment with which I am very much in agreement.

    If you want to send me your story, please do. I set up a temporary e mail account a short while ago and the address is in a comment following my Bathtime Bliss posting.

    Thanks again


  6. Hi Liz,

    I have sent you the story.

    Let me elaborate a bit on 'the disciplinary script': it is always a consensual construct. When you know your lover well and you are both turned on by spanking, then it is fairly easy to discern when she wants it. We don't need to rehearse the script.

    If I am annoyed with her behaviour, but she feels no guilt and won't admit she has done anything wrong, then we need to talk it through as adults. The last thing in the world I would do is unilaterally impose my will on hers by spanking her. For us, that would be disastrous.

    If however, when she does something that annoys me, I take issue and she feels guilty about it, then we have established the preconditions for a spanking. If she flushes and lowers her eyes as I scold her, I know she is already becoming aroused and would welcome a spanking to purge her guilt and bring us back together in a thrilling sexual reunion.

    Scolding, in this context, is always an uplifting "you can do better" pep-talk. It's a loving affirmation of her; I never simply rant, ventilating my anger. She is feeling as contrite as I am sternly indignant. I will often ask: "do you deserve a spanking?" She will blush and admit she does.

    Now the proposition, on its face, is ridiculous. No adult really deserves a spanking. But it is the trigger language of a willing consensus (note the word "good") and we both find it terribly arousing.

    Sometimes, if she is feeling very guilty, she will admit she deserves "a good hard spanking on my bare bottom." All these adjectives cue me and add to our excitement. So the issue may be serious, but the spanking will be deeply erotic -- breathtaking for both of us.

  7. Hmm well after due consideration I'm going to opt for the simple answer to Elizabeths question; namely

    "As often as possible"